My Journey to Motherhood by Kikamz
Good afternoon everybody! As some of you know I am on bedrest due to my embryo transfer procedure, I am advised to take a bedrest so I won’t be able to blog much this coming weeks. I couldn’t leave you here hanging so I asked some of my good friends to guest post for me. If you want to do guest post too here at MommaWannabe, do let me know by filling in the contact form.
I am Ana Karenina Pera, known as “kikamz” in the blogniverse. It is actually hubby’s endearment term for me but I so love how it sounds so that I have used it ever since. I grew up in Davao City, a certified Bisaya, and currently residing in Germany. I have no permanent address yet because we will only be here for 3 years… I married my boyfriend of 9 years 3 years ago and now have a 2-year old daughter Samantha. I find it hard to say “No” especially when it is my friends and loved ones who asks for a favor (hence this post hihi! >). I don’t always get mad easily and will keep to myself when confronted so that if you argue with me, I will only look at you and give you a silent treatment. I believe that anger should not be met anger because the moment you do, every hurtful words that has come out of your mouth, whether meant or driven by your anger can never be taken back. I am also a very forgetful person and this is one thing that has been a major source of misunderstanding between Hubby and me.
What is motherhood like ?
Motherhood is like a roller coaster ride for me: I went through lots of highs and lows. I had no idea how to be a mother because I never learned it in the classroom. But I guess it is true what many people say: EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER… And there’s the maternal instincts that has somehow helped me overcome the many challenges of being a first time mom. It was especially challenging on my part because we are far from our families. I would always worry when I notice something unusual. I guess if you are all alone taking care of the baby, your paranoia will get the better of you.
When did you know you are ready for motherhood?
I really had no idea when. I guess it sort of “just happened”. I guess it is again maternal instinct in action… The beauty with pregnancy though is that allowed me to adjust and condition myself within that nine-month period that soon, I will be mainly responsible for another life. What I wasn’t prepared for was the delivery. I was induced when I gave birth to Samantha… They had to force my cervix open by inserting a balloon inside me and then they had me and my baby undergo a Stress Test to find out if she can withstand a normal delivery. It was just so painful because I was already having mild contractions 24 hours before the scheduled date. I wasn’t quite prepared for that but the moment Samantha got out was the happiest most beautiful day ever.
What challenges did you face during the first years of being a mother?
A LOT! We were in Japan when I had Sam and because I didn’t know the language, I was totally dependent on Hubby when it comes to communication. I was very lucky and thankful though that my sister came to help me with Samantha so that it wasn’t very difficult to adjust during the first three months. Infants tend to feed every three hours so that sleep was a luxury I could not afford. I am just amazed that I could wake up so easily each time Samantha moves in her bed. Hubby cannot do that. I also worry a lot… I guess you could call me paranoid because I would imagine every bad thing imaginable that might to my baby if I am careless. All the what-ifs in my head are swimming around in circles, blame it on Grey’s Anatomy.
How many children do you have and do you want more?
Currently, there is only one and I surely would love to get pregnant again. I want to give Samantha a little brother and a little sister.
What’s the best thing in being mother/ parent?
I guess the best thing about being a mother, a SAHM at that, is that I am always the first to witness her firsts. That is something that nobody can take away from me… capturing that special moment, no matter how simple and small, in my memory. I also get to be a teacher, an artist, a musician, a dancer, a poet, a singer, a cook, a nurse, a friend, a voice artist and just about anybody to keep my daughter entertained and I don’t get any criticisms from her… just pure delight and laughter and happiness. The hugs, the little kisses, the giggles, the laughter, even the tears… these are the best things in being a mother or a parent for that matter.
Is there anything you dislike about being a mother/parent ?
I guess that would have to be the fact that I cannot pinpoint what really is wrong with my daughter when she suddenly cries. It is frustrating and painful when I see her in pain and there is not much I can do about it.
What advice would you give to new mothers?
To embrace the experience and immerse in it. Never complain about the sleepless nights or the fact that you have added lots of extra pounds… The fact is that babies grow up so fast that you would wish for the days when all they do is sleep, feed and cry.
What are your plans for the future for you, your family?
Personally, I plan to go back to school and enroll in Graduate School. I also plan to lose weight… My gawd, I am already 70 kilos! I have to do something about that to feel (& look) good about myself. As for the family, I hope that things will go well for us here in Germany and that soon, we will be able to settle down. I plan to also get a part-time job when Samantha is old enough for Kindergarten so that I could also help financially. In the meantime, I will be blogging to earn on the side.
To know more about Kikamz, do visit her at her blogs: