Since I am pregnant, I already started fantasizing of setting up our own playground in our backyard. I am sure if we have a playground it would encourage my kid(s) to be active. I also read somewhere that children exposed to nature instead of city buildings and streets did better when they were tested for attention and concentration. I want my children to be connected with nature, be an explorer, find the hole in a log that they can use as a special hiding place for their special item. I want them to chase butterflies and dragonflies in the afternoon.

When I was little I love playing outside with my cousins and to be honest that was the best childhood memory I have and I want my kids to have that too. I know this will be a great investment because the kids will never get tired of playing outside.

Anyway, back to planning for our playground…some of the things I would like to have in the playground we will be setting up are  wooden swings, see saws, climbing frames. I would also like to have a tree house but maybe that should come later when the kids are around 8 or 10 years old.  I am already picturing my Marces visiting us at the farm with their whole family. I am sure their kids would love to play at the playground. They would have so much fun they wouldn’t want to leave our place.

Oh it’s so nice to plan and dream about the future…

To the sexy an beautiful Liz ! I wish you a happy happy birthday. I wish you all the best. I am glad I met you through Pehpot.

I’m really keeping my fingers crossed (I’d cross all of it if it was humanly possible), and I hope that like the others who had positive results turn up in their Home Drug Test Kits for pregnancy, mine will also turn out to be successful at last. So while I’m in this state of doing nothing, I need to relax as much as I can. For the baby.

But even if I won’t be around much, do watch out for the upcoming guestposts.

We did try for another embryo transfer for the second time and thought I wouldn’t stay in bed for two weeks this time. Other women don’t even know that they are pregnant after a month, so they just live like as always. I didn’t got pregnant that second time so this time I decided to stay on bedrest again for two weeks since I got a good result the first time when I did it this way.

So let’s hope it all works out this time.

I couldn’t leave you here hanging so I asked some of my good friends to be my guest poster for me this coming days or if many more would like to be a guestpost, this might be a regular thing at MommaWannabe. If you want to do guestpost too here at MommaWannabe, do let me know by filling in the contact form.

We were looking at several cars, something like Toyota Camry would be a bit too small for the 12 kids I plan on having . We need a big car like a van or a hummer . We first looked a Toyota Hi Ace but then I remembered that I saw something similarly big in Ford, the E-150 which I really really like. I told him to check it out and too.

I am happy he liked it because that’s what I already chosen in my mind as it kinda looked a bit like the Hummer. I am sure this car wiill be with us for a very long time as hubby is a pretty good driver. In the 7 years that we are married, not once did we ever had to bring his car to an auto repair shop.

After my rant the other day, I decided it’s time to really put some effort and get my happy mode back. Andrea said in her comment, try to focus on other things you love. I thought about it and now I am doing those things I love like cooking, baking, and looking at photographs I have taken and I think it is helping.  I love what she said too:

Always remember that there is more to you and more to your life than just being a mom.

Thank you for reminding me Andrea. I guess I sort of got obsessed in getting pregnant and stopped enjoying and appreciating other things I have in my life.

I am now busying myself with the preparations of our upcoming relocation. We will be moving for good to the Philippines. I am already excited. There would be a lot to do in this move but I don’t mind.

I try to fight this dreaded state to the best of my ability, believe me. I try to think of things to do and plan stuff but sometimes the day pass by and I haven’t really accomplished anything. Sometimes my husband would ask me to do something and I will say yes but end up forgetting about it which will lead to some arguments.

Some of the things that I suspect to cause me to be in this mode was the first ever pregnancy that didn’t push through and then, just this January a failed embryo transfer, it was difficult for me. I tried to recover from the grief as soon as I can, I try live my life as normal as I can.

I  do stuff to keep my mind from dwelling on my lost so I went ahead with the holiday we have already planned and then went on a few more afterwards. I try my best to be in a happy mode despite the negative thoughts that come once in awhile. My hubby is a great support as always. Whenever he sees I am not my normal self, he cheers me up. He’s the reason why I keep going.

What I want right now is to be back with my happy self, I know it’s up to me to pick myself up but why am I having such a hard time. Any advice you can give?

I went to take a warm bath but the water was not warm enough yet …I was hyperventilating. My husband kept telling me to calm down and breathe through my nose. Because if I continue breathing through my mouth, I will lose consciousness. Since the water was not warm enough I just hold on to my husband’s body to get a bit warm, I was thrilling all the time. I tried to calm down and breath through my nose like my hubby instructed me.

Hubby brought me to bed and covered me in blankets while I waited for the water to get warm. He called me when the water was already warm and stayed with me till I was done. I did felt better after the shower.

We were wondering what could have caused this. I have throat infection, so my lips turning blue was very unexpected. We went to sleep when I felt better. Around 1 am, I woke up because I was feeling warm, when I checked my temperature it was 40 celsius. I was freaking out because I know that this is high… and what if it goes even higher ? I took something for my fever went back to sleep and hoped I don’t die in my sleep…I am not ready to die yet.

At around 6 am I woke up and I was all wet with sweat but I feel good. I think I am ok now, I feel better anyway than I have felt in the last couple of days. Thanks to the caring hands of my dear hubby. I am so lucky to have a husband like him.

I am happy to be alive! This is like a wake up call for me. I now will always take my vitamins, eat more greens and do some more physical activities.

I am under the weather. It started on Sunday, have bad headache all the time, have sore throat and back pains and now I have fever. I don’t wanna be sick but here I am. I will go to the doctor later and get some meds.

So the announcement of the winners for the Christmas Memory contest will be a bit delayed. I hope you understand. I promise I will look at all the entries as soon as I get better.