Basic Equipment before Your Baby is Born
It is a good idea to get most of the basic equipment and clothes for your baby before she is born. Shopping for major purchases will be difficult once she is with you. But try to resist the temptation to rush out and buy lots of clothes and bedding, especially if you have generous family and friends, and have friends with children who may pass outgrown clothes on to you.
Choose machine-washable items only and avoid anything with long, trailing ribbons and trimmings that could come loose.
The list here is of the basic items you will need for the first few weeks. Gifts will still be welcome, since this is the minimum – you will be washing very frequently if this is all you have.
You might find it easier to use a pram top, carrycot or cradle as your baby’s sleeping place for the first few weeks, since all are portable and can easily be carried from room to room and even up and down stairs. Check that the mattress is fits correctly. Depending on how quickly she grows, you will need a proper cot within around six months.
You will also need two or three sets of sets baby bedding
Your pram or stroller
time over choosing one.
Full-size, traditional ‘coach-built’ prams are extremely hard-wearing, beautiful-looking and very warm and comfortable for your baby. They are, however, very expensive (although they seem to keep their value secondhand, even if you have used them for more than a couple of children of your own). Sometimes they cannot be used inside shops, they take up a lot of room and it is impossible to travel with them by car or public transport.
Many parents today opt for a pram which comes in two parts – a fold-down frame and a top which can be used as a carrycot with handles. It’s difficult to get this on a bus (although you can on most trains), and folding it down after separating top and frame, then carrying the frame and baby is often a two-person job so it cannot be used on escalators. Most car boots and hatchbacks will hold both frame and top.
A popular alternative is a pushchair which folds flat, with a seat that tips into different positions from lie-flat to sitting. (You may find this comes as an extra to a frame and carrycot model, so that you use the carrycot when the baby is small, then graduate to the seat, keeping the same basic frame.) Buggies which folds up like an umbrella are lightweight and easy to handle, excellent if you are on and off buses a lot. These are, however, not really warm or sufficiently well sprung for a tiny baby and are best for toddlers who need less support.
You may also want to buy a rain cover, sunshade, shopping basket or tray for the pram or pushchair.
You can bath your baby with you in the ordinary bath, as can your partner, but it may nor be convenient at all times, so a baby bath
…to be continued
Benefits for Fathers during Pregnancy
There is as yet no statutory requirement on employers to offer paternity leave, although European Union regulations mean that the situation is changing and some employers do already offer a few days’ leave. Most give time off for you to be at the birth, but you may be expected to take a holiday to cover the period when the baby comes home.
It is, however, important that you are there for as long as possible. If your partner is in hospital for a few days, try to work then so that you can be at home when mother and baby come out.
As well as the practical support that you can give, changing nappies, bathing, spending time with the baby while your partner rests, Maternity leave does not count as time off’, so that pension rights, holiday entitlement and company car are unaffected by this break.
If you have worked for your employer for two years by the 12th week before your baby is due and your employer has more than five employees, you are entitled to additional maternity leave to your 14 weeks, until the end of the 29th week after your baby is born. This extra leave is usually unpaid, but many companies do pay something so it is worth inquiring.
To qualify you must notify your employer 21 days before you leave that it is your intention to return; you must also notify your employer at least 21 days before you intend to return to work. Your employer is entitled to write to you at any time after 11 weeks from the start of your leave, asking if you intend to return, and you must answer within 14 days. If you are not sure at this stage, follow the procedure until the final stage (21 days before your return).
Having a Baby at Home
Consider the following questions:
Can you have a domino delivery? This means that the community midwife comes to your home and stays with you until she thinks it is time to go to hospital. She then takes you to hospital, delivers the baby and takes you home a few hours after the birth. She will continue to visit you at home. Will you have the chance to meet the midwives who are likely to deliver the baby? Most hospitals operate a team midwifery system for antenatal, delivery and postnatal care. This means that the same midwives look after you before, during and after the birth.
- If you prefer a woman doctor, will it always be possible to see one?
- Can your birth companion be with you at all times if that is what you want?
- Can you talk over your birth choices and have a record of them put in your notes?
- Will you be able to move around in labor and is there a variety of equipment so that you can give birth in the position that you find comfortable? Can you use a water pool during labor if that is what you would like?
- Do you have a choice in the way your baby is monitored?
- HOW long might you be expected to stay in hospital after the birth (you can discharge yourself whenever you wish, but it may help to know the average length of stay)?
- Is there good breastfeeding support?
- What are the visiting hours?
- Will there be a chance to talk about the birth afterwards with the midwife who delivered your baby and ask any questions about the birth?
You can arrange for a home birth through your GP, or via your local community midwives. Many GPs are reluctant to support first-time mothers in having a home birth, because there is no way of telling how difficult a birth is going to be (your experience the first time gives some indication of the ease with which you will give birth subsequently). However, if you have young children at home already and do not wish to disrupt them, or feel that the birth will be more relaxed at home, you may decide that this is for you. You have the right to a home birth if that is what you want.
Your GP may be able to offer you antenatal care. If not, contact your local FHSA for the address of a GP who has an interest in childbirth_ And contact your local supervisor of midwives who still arrange your antenatal care, delivery and postnatal care.
You will see the community midwife for all your antenatal checks, and she is the one to call when you think your labor has started. She will stay with you through labor and, perhaps with another midwife, deliver the baby. She will call a doctor or ambulance if you need to get to hospital in an emergency.
